Better Days are Ahead!

So I have been in a weird place lately, just feeling really down and unhappy for about the last two weeks. There has been a lot of change in my life lately, and I am not a person that likes change. I have had a fever now for about 5 days. I have not stopped sneezing or blowing my nose at all today. I seriously could resemble snuffaluffagus's twin. I have never felt so ugly in my life, and this is not me fishing for complaints, this is me being honest, because I know you all have days like this as well. This past week I felt like the worst friend, daughter, coach, teacher, and the list goes on and on. I have not worked out because I feel like crap. I am dragging at work because I am not sleeping well. I know I have put on weight, but just how much, I don't know, because I won't step on the scale. I feel bad enough, I don't want that to upset me too.


But as I drove home today, all I could think of is telling that voice inside my head that keeps reminding me of everything that is upsetting me, to go F*** herself! Why am I feeling so down?!?! Yes I have been sick twice in the last three weeks, but I am lucky enough to have health insurance that has allows me to get the treatment that I needed! Yes, I hate getting up and going to work....but my jobs have allowed me to buy a brand new car with every option that I wanted. Yes someone dented it 8 hours after I picked it up, but the dealer is fixing it for FREE! My job allows me to do things with the people in my life that are important to me. I can pretty much do whatever I want, when I want. I get to go out with my friends, and treat them to things if I want. Next month I get to spend a week down south with my mom, and take part in a charity event that you all know is near and dear to my heart. These past 3 years I have been able to travel up and down the east coast partaking in all kinds of Lupus Events. I have a job that I honestly love! I have wanted to be a teacher since I was a little girl, and I have achieved my goal! I get to spend every day with out next generation, and I LOVE it! Is it easy? Heck no! But, I wouldn't change it. I was given an opportunity to teach high school this year, and I was terrified. It turned out to be one of the most rewarding experiences of my life! I have amazing friends and family! I have friends who have done nothing but listen to me bitch and cry for the last week. My best friend came and played cards with me last night, even while I was coughing, sneezing, and blowing my nose. I have an amazing fitness family who I feel like I am letting down lately. But they are there for me! They cheer me on for every pound I lose, but I know they would love me even if I stayed the same.


I AM BLESSED! I am so very blessed to have such amazing people in my life. So today, I have decided to tell that voice in my head to take a hike. I am choosing to focus on all of the positives in my life, and even if it's not always smooth sailing, the ride will be worth it. I am saying good bye to this dark cloud that has been hanging over me, and hello to that happy girl I know is inside of me!


Thanks for listening!


XOXO


I AM SO